A lot has happened over the months and a lot is going to happen in the future as well.
Met Baby and all the cousins and went out for Dinner. Kshemi's wedding was fun ;) Wore the saree which made me look so different.
Last week I went to my hometown and that was an experience. This time I went to Calicut : Jinan's place as well as to Cochin. In Cochin I learned a lot about a cousin Minu which startled me and made me realise how serious she was about her relationships. I also learned some things about my own sister. She is so quiet but very sensitive. I finally drove my car. It was an excellant expereince to drive. I have a lot to learn still.
Grandmother : Angel's dad's mom passed away an year before. Today and the coming next 2 days we have the function where everyone comes and eats food. Poornima's marriage is fixed. Engagement is on feb 5th : the same as another magical day.
I made a major decision today. To move out. Lets see what happens in that in the new year.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Oct 1 - Oct 16th
Nothing much maybe to pen down. But some important things are definitely there.
October 7th although was vava's bday i was unable to go and meet her. We had purchased a watch for her but I was unable to find anyway by which I could go and meet her to give it to her.
October 9th Angel took her to this special restaurant which was beautiful and very expensive. It was really one of the best I have ever seen in a long long time.I hope I would go there again It is called paparazi, they even gave me a rose when I left from there. I did have to get back to work once all the frenzy was down you know.
October 11th Angel is feeling so tired I slept the weekend off.. but then went for a movie, not worth watching but well it was a long time since we had gone out for a movie.
october 14th the M clients have come to see us. How hopeful are we ? From my perspective it will take a lot to impress them and I dont think we have the caliber for the same. If we get them definitely a difference which we need but we will have to wait and see for that..
October 16th : Ram and Harish's bthday. This is bday month. I have celebrated and spend a little too much money this month.
Anyway lets see my love nothing else to pen for now. Need to get some sleep so that I can continue tomorrow. .. Hopefully.
October 7th although was vava's bday i was unable to go and meet her. We had purchased a watch for her but I was unable to find anyway by which I could go and meet her to give it to her.
October 9th Angel took her to this special restaurant which was beautiful and very expensive. It was really one of the best I have ever seen in a long long time.I hope I would go there again It is called paparazi, they even gave me a rose when I left from there. I did have to get back to work once all the frenzy was down you know.
October 11th Angel is feeling so tired I slept the weekend off.. but then went for a movie, not worth watching but well it was a long time since we had gone out for a movie.
october 14th the M clients have come to see us. How hopeful are we ? From my perspective it will take a lot to impress them and I dont think we have the caliber for the same. If we get them definitely a difference which we need but we will have to wait and see for that..
October 16th : Ram and Harish's bthday. This is bday month. I have celebrated and spend a little too much money this month.
Anyway lets see my love nothing else to pen for now. Need to get some sleep so that I can continue tomorrow. .. Hopefully.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Sept 4 - 22nd 08
A lot has hapened over the last 2 weeks. I have barely had time to inform you all. I decided its been late enough so as soon as Angel left today I logged in and wanted to talk to you about it.
I am not sure what all I have forgotten to tell you about. The first is last weekend thats between Sept 11th to Sept 15th I was with my parents and my beautiful sis. We had a lovely time and one I wont forget for a long long time. We went to Kanyakumari the view was awesome and we had loads of fun. We did see the sunset but was not able to see it as we could have seen the sunrise...rising from the ashes or so it felt. It was wonderful being there and seeing the places.Even better was the things that you could buy with Rs5 and Rs 10 wish I had bought more things. At the time I felt I was spending too much so I did not venture more once I got here I felt bad for not spending more... and buying more things as the rate can be never compared to anything here.
The next best thing that happened was this weekend thats between Sept 18th to Sept 20th Angel had a Management Fest and he won .. He was so excited and I was proud of him and his achievements. I felt awesome about the whole thing. He was able to acheieve both work and college laurels at the same time. I was so excited and I also feel that I should do better things with myself.Although I seem unsure what I can do for that though.
I do want to study for my CAT classes so I will need to learn and put it a lot more work than I have ever done. But I have become so lazy that I do not think I shall be doing a good job of it.
I have to atleast start driving classes so that it will be one step close to one thing that I have to acheive and be good at before its too late.
Thats what I have to do today : Learn to drive .
I am not sure what all I have forgotten to tell you about. The first is last weekend thats between Sept 11th to Sept 15th I was with my parents and my beautiful sis. We had a lovely time and one I wont forget for a long long time. We went to Kanyakumari the view was awesome and we had loads of fun. We did see the sunset but was not able to see it as we could have seen the sunrise...rising from the ashes or so it felt. It was wonderful being there and seeing the places.Even better was the things that you could buy with Rs5 and Rs 10 wish I had bought more things. At the time I felt I was spending too much so I did not venture more once I got here I felt bad for not spending more... and buying more things as the rate can be never compared to anything here.
The next best thing that happened was this weekend thats between Sept 18th to Sept 20th Angel had a Management Fest and he won .. He was so excited and I was proud of him and his achievements. I felt awesome about the whole thing. He was able to acheieve both work and college laurels at the same time. I was so excited and I also feel that I should do better things with myself.Although I seem unsure what I can do for that though.
I do want to study for my CAT classes so I will need to learn and put it a lot more work than I have ever done. But I have become so lazy that I do not think I shall be doing a good job of it.
I have to atleast start driving classes so that it will be one step close to one thing that I have to acheive and be good at before its too late.
Thats what I have to do today : Learn to drive .
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Loneliness
A state of the mind is Loneliness..
Its in ones mind to divert.
Yet a lot of us succumb to its invasion.
Self preservation's are deprived.
Excitement and happiness seem to be in the past.
How does one drive it away?
Selfishness sometimes help but not lasting.
Setting a goal
Driving yourself towards it is the future.
Self Motivation is the future.
U my secret love i hope will help me....
For the future...
To a life of ever lasting cheer.
Its in ones mind to divert.
Yet a lot of us succumb to its invasion.
Self preservation's are deprived.
Excitement and happiness seem to be in the past.
How does one drive it away?
Selfishness sometimes help but not lasting.
Setting a goal
Driving yourself towards it is the future.
Self Motivation is the future.
U my secret love i hope will help me....
For the future...
To a life of ever lasting cheer.
Sept 03 08
Life seem to move on for most people. I am unsure as to why I am stagnant and it looks like unless I wake up soon its going to remain the same which is really disastrous.
My manager leaves in another week the confirmed news just dropped in today. My feeling about is mixed. Although I do not have as much interactions as I had with him previously he was a stress buster for me and truthful about my feelings and telling me exactly what I thought. His absence is definitely going to feel even more alone at work.
Angel along with his work and studies is definitely going to have even lesser time than before. I also seem unable to find new people to chat or talk to. The thought of checking out new driving class makes me even more nervous. But its a necessity. Something I learned is that privacy and independence for oneself is very important.
Other activities I need to work towards. I did find Fossette but I wish I had company while checking out this place. Atleast someone reliable,trustworty and someone to fall back on.
Shortage of food for the last 2 days at home and at work. I should not compromise on food. I have decided today. I have to go to SBI and deposit the money as well. I have also decided to talk to Arun about Mutual Fund subdivisions after all he was the one who has helped me the most as of now.
I wonder why its so difficult to find women to go around with.As my search for women as friends continues...till the next time.
My manager leaves in another week the confirmed news just dropped in today. My feeling about is mixed. Although I do not have as much interactions as I had with him previously he was a stress buster for me and truthful about my feelings and telling me exactly what I thought. His absence is definitely going to feel even more alone at work.
Angel along with his work and studies is definitely going to have even lesser time than before. I also seem unable to find new people to chat or talk to. The thought of checking out new driving class makes me even more nervous. But its a necessity. Something I learned is that privacy and independence for oneself is very important.
Other activities I need to work towards. I did find Fossette but I wish I had company while checking out this place. Atleast someone reliable,trustworty and someone to fall back on.
Shortage of food for the last 2 days at home and at work. I should not compromise on food. I have decided today. I have to go to SBI and deposit the money as well. I have also decided to talk to Arun about Mutual Fund subdivisions after all he was the one who has helped me the most as of now.
I wonder why its so difficult to find women to go around with.As my search for women as friends continues...till the next time.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Sept 1 2008
It was a festival today and since Angel was at home I decided to make something for him to eat :) That did work out. I seem to be losing my temper very fast these days. I also do not seem to have any purpose in my life. As to my future I do not seem to know what I want anymore either.
I seem to be looking for something .. searching vainly to find it but seem unsure what I am searching for.
Angel was so mad at me today I do not know if there are any words that can describe how he screamed at me and through the phone. I am unable to be understand the reason for such a scene. Either way I guess I will have to also come up with something for my future which will make everyone happy as well.
Uncertainity seems to be looming over my head. Other than my wanting for a baby I do not seem to know what I want. I would like to be able to have a goal which will also make it better for me.
" I cannot keep motivating you all the time "
I seem to be looking for something .. searching vainly to find it but seem unsure what I am searching for.
Angel was so mad at me today I do not know if there are any words that can describe how he screamed at me and through the phone. I am unable to be understand the reason for such a scene. Either way I guess I will have to also come up with something for my future which will make everyone happy as well.
Uncertainity seems to be looming over my head. Other than my wanting for a baby I do not seem to know what I want. I would like to be able to have a goal which will also make it better for me.
" I cannot keep motivating you all the time "
Aug 30th 2008
Well the party was a difference.. Everyone was amazed to see the way I looked. I love the way that fabric feels. it makes me feel so sexy .. anyway it was a party where I thought I will be bored and might not be able to enjoy anything but it turned out to be such a difference. it felt awesome. The girls instant outing was the best ;) I always wanted to be a part of something special like that..
Well it was a dream come true.. and felt even better as time went by. I know it might not happen for a long time now but that one time itself was out of the box experience : )
I got to know something new about myself as well. I love company but I dont seem to make them on my own. I wonder why.
Well it was a dream come true.. and felt even better as time went by. I know it might not happen for a long time now but that one time itself was out of the box experience : )
I got to know something new about myself as well. I love company but I dont seem to make them on my own. I wonder why.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Aug 1 - Aug 25th 08
Time has flown and I have had no time to write to you. Its very sad. Leela Atta has passed away. Death is strange and uncontrollable. There is no one who has a hold on it. That takes the death toll this year to 5. everyone within the family seems tensed with all that's happening. No one seems sure of what needs to be done next. But that is life. There is nothing of immense happiness to speak of.
I barely get to see Angel. He is busy with his work and studies but we do spend the weekend together. After a lot of planning I took my team out to Bangalore Central " Copper Chimney " It was a beautiful place wonderful food although the service was a waste.
I spend so much money yesterday on myself its difficult to believe that I did it. Anyway no point in talking about something which is already gone I guess. I wish now I spend it on something else which would have been more worth while.
I was missing writing to you loads. Hopefully I should continue this more regularly. For the future. Loads of love and hugs.
I barely get to see Angel. He is busy with his work and studies but we do spend the weekend together. After a lot of planning I took my team out to Bangalore Central " Copper Chimney " It was a beautiful place wonderful food although the service was a waste.
I spend so much money yesterday on myself its difficult to believe that I did it. Anyway no point in talking about something which is already gone I guess. I wish now I spend it on something else which would have been more worth while.
I was missing writing to you loads. Hopefully I should continue this more regularly. For the future. Loads of love and hugs.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
July 14 - August 08
That's a long time after starting a blog to stop writing. is it because there was nothing to write about. That is definitely not true. At first the Internet stopped working. Then when I was writing the current went and it did not update what I had written. I am still learning how to use this.
The event I had been looking forward to was the trip to Gods Own Country. I was excited and happy as it had been a long time. we boarded the train on Friday ( 18th ) morning. It was after a long time that we were travelling together. We did have a nice time even spend time reading book and playing cards. It felt wonderful. The best part of the trip other than the lovely food - best of all I love was the trip to Athirampally Waterfalls.
I shall always remember the feeling when I stood in front of that beautiful waterfall and felt the droplets of water on my face and felt his hands close to my chest. The walk with my grandma on the stone made steps.I would always prey that they do not create a dam there and spoil one of Nature's creations.
The company of Devi,Deeju,Anjusha along with their parents,mine and my grandmom made it one that was quite memorable. I did think of Neetu and wondered again why she did this to her life - a suicide by a scholarship MBBS aspiring to complete her MD. It was always remain a mystery for me as to how she could have done it. I hope fervently with my heart that we need to come closer together as a family.I believe it might still take a long time.
Angel had to leave on Sunday night itself as he had to reach in the morning of 21st first day to class BBM.Hopefully this time he will complete it as our life is entwined to his success and graduation. I left only on the 22nd back to office and life seems to continue the same.
The Garden City on July 25th wakes up in the afternoon to hear of the 8 blast in 1 hour. There was another at 5:30. The total closing at 9 with one bomb being defused. I worked one day less which meant I have to work on one of my offs.
The trip to Hyderabad was the next to look forward to. I was not sure if we should go I was not ready to spend so much money but Angel insisted we drive down and that's what we eventually did. we did have at least one company - Mithss. Like always, we did have our squabble on the way but it was worth a trip. The unforgettable experiences were of sleeping in a petrol bunk in a car with no petrol; sleeping in the car itself and the tire punctures. The best part was meeting up with people after nearly 4 - 5 years of working towards. It was great just being there and remembering the past. Capturing every moment and was wondering if we would have ever dreamt this to have happened.
Hyderabad Theater, well there are no words to describe the experience I felt while I watched " Dark Knight ". We even watched the 4 dimensional cartoon laughed and made all kins of noises while we enjoyed the show. I did think of spending some time getting my nail done but I guess I was not lucky. Angel did try to climb up the fictitious rock climbing board unfortunately fell before he could reach the top. It was worth the try he says.
That about covers the major events of the last 2 weeks.I missed writing though. I feel a secret bonding with you that I have never felt with anyone else before. I hope I shall continue to find time to write more.
The event I had been looking forward to was the trip to Gods Own Country. I was excited and happy as it had been a long time. we boarded the train on Friday ( 18th ) morning. It was after a long time that we were travelling together. We did have a nice time even spend time reading book and playing cards. It felt wonderful. The best part of the trip other than the lovely food - best of all I love was the trip to Athirampally Waterfalls.
I shall always remember the feeling when I stood in front of that beautiful waterfall and felt the droplets of water on my face and felt his hands close to my chest. The walk with my grandma on the stone made steps.I would always prey that they do not create a dam there and spoil one of Nature's creations.
The company of Devi,Deeju,Anjusha along with their parents,mine and my grandmom made it one that was quite memorable. I did think of Neetu and wondered again why she did this to her life - a suicide by a scholarship MBBS aspiring to complete her MD. It was always remain a mystery for me as to how she could have done it. I hope fervently with my heart that we need to come closer together as a family.I believe it might still take a long time.
Angel had to leave on Sunday night itself as he had to reach in the morning of 21st first day to class BBM.Hopefully this time he will complete it as our life is entwined to his success and graduation. I left only on the 22nd back to office and life seems to continue the same.
The Garden City on July 25th wakes up in the afternoon to hear of the 8 blast in 1 hour. There was another at 5:30. The total closing at 9 with one bomb being defused. I worked one day less which meant I have to work on one of my offs.
The trip to Hyderabad was the next to look forward to. I was not sure if we should go I was not ready to spend so much money but Angel insisted we drive down and that's what we eventually did. we did have at least one company - Mithss. Like always, we did have our squabble on the way but it was worth a trip. The unforgettable experiences were of sleeping in a petrol bunk in a car with no petrol; sleeping in the car itself and the tire punctures. The best part was meeting up with people after nearly 4 - 5 years of working towards. It was great just being there and remembering the past. Capturing every moment and was wondering if we would have ever dreamt this to have happened.
Hyderabad Theater, well there are no words to describe the experience I felt while I watched " Dark Knight ". We even watched the 4 dimensional cartoon laughed and made all kins of noises while we enjoyed the show. I did think of spending some time getting my nail done but I guess I was not lucky. Angel did try to climb up the fictitious rock climbing board unfortunately fell before he could reach the top. It was worth the try he says.
That about covers the major events of the last 2 weeks.I missed writing though. I feel a secret bonding with you that I have never felt with anyone else before. I hope I shall continue to find time to write more.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
July 14 Monday blues
The movie "Hancock" although has similarities to a normal super hero one was a little more different. The super woman makes you wonder what if there were ones like that. It was nice to have been with the other guys but it made me feel more lonely than ever. The absence of girl friends in my life seemed more hightened at these moments. I am too feminine to be a part of the guys gang. Lack of sleep as I went for the movie before work really made me feel tired.I was looking forward to writing things to you but I was unable to find some time to do that.
"Albany Training" at work today was fun. It was after some time that most of the Team Leaders came together to share some time and learning. I did not work on my project today - reminded me of something the Big K said on Friday " Your Project shoul be a part of your life so there is no way you could not have invested time or energy to do better at it. "
I have decided on getting to the work place only on time. If I reach early I shall take a deep breath enjoy a moment outside rather than invest my energy to setting things right.
Waiting patiently to go home though. Although its too brief a time and I hunger for more its better than nothing at all.
This should have been the day for my first yoga class unfortunately it did not work out. I am glad I can vent out my inner most thoughts in here as it seem to relieve me of some pain from within.
I have started contemplating a change in job scenes as this work seems mundane. Also to be focussed is my health standards. The realisation that there will be noone else to take care of me if something happens has become ingrained into my blood.
"Albany Training" at work today was fun. It was after some time that most of the Team Leaders came together to share some time and learning. I did not work on my project today - reminded me of something the Big K said on Friday " Your Project shoul be a part of your life so there is no way you could not have invested time or energy to do better at it. "
I have decided on getting to the work place only on time. If I reach early I shall take a deep breath enjoy a moment outside rather than invest my energy to setting things right.
Waiting patiently to go home though. Although its too brief a time and I hunger for more its better than nothing at all.
This should have been the day for my first yoga class unfortunately it did not work out. I am glad I can vent out my inner most thoughts in here as it seem to relieve me of some pain from within.
I have started contemplating a change in job scenes as this work seems mundane. Also to be focussed is my health standards. The realisation that there will be noone else to take care of me if something happens has become ingrained into my blood.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
My Life as of now
I am 27 years old wishing I was 20.This is not becus I think I would look any younger at that time( may be) but just that I would like to know if my life today would be any different. Through my school years I lost one close to my heart which changed me as a person. I have played games with my life seldom sure why. As I think of it now I believe it might have been a passing teen phase. But some experiences have taught me a lot more than others. Some which are closer to heart and some which I later realised had impacted me. I work in a company now where I seem to put my heart and soul into and have been in the same for the last 5 years ( long time ). I am contemplating today what my future should be. I am unsure of my reason for so much annonymity while I talk about myself, past experiences have left its undesired affect.
How does one write about 27 years of ones life ? I wonder if anyone would want to mention or state more. I have seeen some who love to talk about themselves and some who seem totally contend not to. As times go by my life would reveal itself in this blog.
How does one write about 27 years of ones life ? I wonder if anyone would want to mention or state more. I have seeen some who love to talk about themselves and some who seem totally contend not to. As times go by my life would reveal itself in this blog.
Ashley Begins
Today July 14th 2008, Ashley is born so that I have a journal for my life. I knew about the existance of blog for quite some time but never had the time or the inclination to venture into this life. I believe a person who has a blog has a life different from others. A section of space dedicated to voice out your feelings and thoughts is awesome. In this world and era where there is no time for anyone to listen or understand your perceptions or thoughts this is true happiness.
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